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Be Clear, Polite About Unwanted Political E-Mails

Dear Thelma:

During the course of each day I receive several political emails, usually bashing my candidate of choice. It seems that my friends and family believe that I am a supporter of the other candidate and send me emails accordingly. There are even times when family members, who know my political views, send emails counter to them in an attempt to dissuade me. I am really annoyed! What should I do? Ask them not to send me any political emails? Tell them that they have assumed incorrectly and that I support the "other guy?” Ignore them. Actually I find myself junking all emails sent with a hint of politics, without even reading them.

Answer:

When I first read your inquiry I thought it was something I might have written myself, as I’ve faced the same questions the past several weeks. I’m sure the entire reading audience has faced the e-mails and phone calls that use every strategy in the book to sway us one way or the other. I think we’ve all deleted or hung up and found ourselves thoroughly annoyed.

The question remains: Should we participate in these dialogs or not? Having received your question, I made a decision to pay more attention than I previously had to these emails and calls. Personally, I have not been too enlightened by them.

I consider myself as one of countless Americans who are concerned about the state of the nation. I am making every effort to better understand how each candidate would begin to address or resolve the issues our country faces so that the emotion of fear within our society is diminished. I have chosen to remain focused on what the candidates themselves say about the major issues. I am continuing to gather information and I will responsibly vote on Election Day.

Over e-mail is not a productive avenue for debate, and so ignoring the political mail that is forwarded is often the best way to handle it. However, if you believe someone has assumed something about you or your choice incorrectly, it would be fine to let them know where you stand on an issue or your choice of candidate. You don’t have to go into detail, but state your position and ask them to take you off their political mailing list.

Perhaps your best option is to take advantage of early voting. Once you’ve voted send a message to those who regularly e-mail you with political arguments and let them know your vote has been cast and no amount of continued persuading will change it.

Dear Thelma:

How should staff handle the departure of a manager when the circumstances of that departure are clouded and that manager is angry and saying untrue things about the organization and related parties?

Answer:

As difficult as it may be, the staff members must do their best to avoid becoming emotionally involved in the situation. They should avoid the conversations in which the manager is making untrue or damaging statements. If they find themselves in such a conversation, they should have the courage to say, “I do not want to be involved in this discussion.” This doesn’t mean anyone has to be unkind, just firm.

Staff should also realize that upon the departure, that person’s impact should be gone and no cloud should be left behind that continues the judgmental conversations. When the manager goes, every negative thing connected with that person should be let go.

It is well known that critical judgment of other people’s behavior results in serious morale problems and diminishes trust in an organization. Every attempt should be made to avoid it.

Clear communication and good manners never go out of style.

Have a question about etiquette? Ask it at www.askthelma.com. Thelma Domenici is CEO of Thelma Domenici & Associates, offering contemporary social skills development programs to all ages.