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A well-prepared public speaker is a compelling one

Dear Thelma:

I attend a lot of events that include guest speakers. Many times I pay the fee to go to certain events because of the particular speaker. However, lately I’ve been very disappointed with the effort put forth by some of these speakers. I’ve definitely not gotten what I’ve paid for. Can you offer some guidelines for these speakers and let them know what’s expected of them?

Answer:

Anyone who accepts an invitation to speak anywhere should be completely prepared to put in the effort it takes to deliver an engaging and informative address tailored to the audience. If you as a speaker do not have the time or the inclination to do so, you should politely decline.

A friend recently attended a fundraising event for the Special Olympics and described the guest speaker, a popular college coach, as perfect. He expressed a true connection to the organization. He described his introduction to it as a U.S. Olympic athlete making a guest appearance at the Special Olympics and his continued support since then. He showed his financial support and encouraged others to follow suit by purchasing some of the event’s silent auction items and handing them out on stage to Special Olympic athletes he had visited with that evening. He provided those sports fans who had come particularly to hear him speak with a first-hand assessment of the upcoming season and added some good-natured ribbing of the rival college team. It was obvious that he understood his role as a speaker at this fundraising event and that he took it seriously.

He’s a good example for other speakers. A speaker should only accept if he or she truly feels qualified to address the topic or is committed to the particular cause. Following that assessment, the speaker should properly prepare by gathering a profile of the audience and preparing for them. Respect the audience by arriving well-groomed for the event and by making an effort to connect with them. A speaker should always stay on the advertised topic and should never come through as “winging it.” Stay conscious of time limits set by the organizers and be respectful of the audience members’ time.

Speakers using visuals should make sure they will be viewable for everyone in the room. Always test out the speaker system before the event begins.

Finally, speakers should arrive early and take time to mingle with audience members before the event begins. Even though you won’t meet every one of them, it shows you take your role seriously and may even give you an opening line for your speech that will sincerely connect you.

Dear Thelma:

Toothpicks used at the dinner table or in a restaurant drive me crazy. Would you address the appropriate use of them?

Answer:

Toothpicks drive me crazy too. They simply should not be used in the presence of somebody else. That means not at the dinner table in the home or in a restaurant, even on your walk out the door. No one wants to see you picking at your teeth.

If you do get food in your teeth at the table, try to dislodge it by drinking water. If you can’t, excuse yourself from the table and take care of it in the restroom. Even in the restroom it’s not time for a full-on dental cleaning, but a simple extraction of whatever is bothering you, usually one bit of food between two teeth.

Other than that, save the toothpicks for testing cakes, propping avocado pits over glasses of water so they’ll sprout, or building marshmallow molecule models.

Respect for your audience and good manners never go out of style.

Have a question about etiquette? Ask it at www.askthelma.com. Thelma Domenici is CEO of Thelma Domenici & Associates, offering contemporary social skills development programs to all ages.