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Do I Have to Give Co-Workers Gifts & Unexpected Gift

Dear Thelma:

Last year everyone in my department – staff and managers –exchanged Christmas gifts, except me. While I received gifts from everyone, I didn’t give any. Considering the size of my family, I have enough gifts to buy. My budget and common sense tell me that buying gifts for my 10 co-workers and managers is not necessary. Is this going to hurt my career?

Answer:

A decision to give no gifts probably won’t end your career. But a lack of interest in sharing in the generous spirit of the holiday season points to a problem with relationship building, which can hold you back professionally.

Studies show that relationship building is a vital part of the culture of an organization. Professionals coming into career positions sometimes aren’t retained if they don’t build relationships or learn how to represent the organization internally and externally.

You’ll help your career by establishing relationships with the people working with you. Then the thought of giving gifts won’t feel so obligatory to you.

Thoughtfulness, kindness, sensitivity and inclusion should direct the spirit of your gift giving. The holidays are not a time for leaving anybody out. If you are very close to some of your co-workers and have special gifts for them, give them outside the office.

Stationery, soaps, gift certificates for books or dinner, and baked goods – home baked or store bought – are always appropriate and appreciated gifts for colleagues.

The gifts you give your co-workers don’t have to be expensive or elaborate, just thoughtful and kind. A festive bow on their favorite candy bar and a holiday card with a personal message shows you’ve thought of them and shouldn’t break the bank.

Dear Thelma:

It never fails, every year someone gives me a Christmas gift out of the blue. It’s always someone I’m friendly with, but never considered exchanging gifts with. So should I run out and buy a gift to present to them the next day? Or should I just say thanks and let it drop?

Answer:

If you don’t have a gift to present right then – like an emergency supply of baked goods – you shouldn’t go out and buy one. Just be sure to give a very gracious thank you and then think about how you can be thoughtful in some other way. You might say you’d like to take them to lunch during the holiday season – a gift of a good meal and good company.

When sharing the holiday spirit, good manners never go out of style.